Turks Don't Play
by KC1327
Summary: Reno has had enough of those SOLDIERs messing with the TURKs. And when an altercation with a particular fiery Crimson Commander leaves him with a new suit style, he decides that's the straw that broke the chocobo's back. Though what is he planning?
1. Chapter 1

Reno had been shuffling in his seat for the last thirty minutes, the leather creaking with each fidgety move he made. The younger TURKs were paying him no mind, but the older, more experienced TURKs knew better. They had enough experience with an antsy Reno to know whenever he was un-entertained for too long, trouble was sure to ensue.

So Cissnei, being the responsible TURK that she was, approached the now openly bouncing, flame-haired second in command.

"Is everything alright Reno? You seem a bit….anxious." Cissnei had taken a moment to find the correct word, because saying he seemed like he was about to make something explode and get them all skinned by Vald would've only put an idea into his head.

Unfortunately, Reno did not respond with the usual "I'm soooooo bored yo!" or even "Anyone standing next to such a pair of legs would be anxious yo!" With that cheeky grin of his. What he did respond with was far more worrisome then anything.

He just smiled, and nodded his head (was there glitter in his hair?) for a moment before that simple smile turned into a Cheshire grin.

"For now, everything is just fine yo. But you might wanna attend that meeting this afternoon yo. 'Cause shits about to get real." With that, Reno winked lewdly at Cissnei before turning and strutting out of the gleaming metal door; leaving Cissnei with the TURK trainees either cheering obnoxiously or groaning miserably at whatever sports game seemed to be playing at the moment. But the ominous feeling hanging in Cissnei's mind seemed to suggest that the real games had just begun.

Rude had witnessed his rambunctious partner earlier that same morning. Normally Rude wouldn't make a point of memorizing the redhead's morning moods, but this particular morning there was certainly something foreboding in Reno's aura. Rude assumed it had something to do with his very _pink_ suit. The neon colored material standing out against the eggshell colored walls more then the Silver General stands out in a crowd. Thanks to Rude's TURK enhanced vision, he was able to make out the faintest traces of sparkles in his grumbling partner's flaming hair.

Rude was so absorbed in his partner's new attire that it was only when Reno was directly in front of him did he notice the stack of papers clutched in the crook of his arm. Shoving a piece of crumpled copy paper at his face was the only acknowledgment Reno gave to his reserved partner before storming down the hall.

Rude looked after him for a moment, blinking once as he attempted to process the fiery TURK's behavior before turning his attention to the paper resting in his hand. Rude rolled his shoulders slightly as he read the neatly typed words.

_Attention TURKS, _

_A meeting will be held this afternoon in the TURK briefing room. Attendance is MANDATORY._

_ Reno._

**Author's Note: What is Reno planning hmm? And where did the pink suit come from? All will be answered in the next chapter. Reviews are always appreciated. **


	2. Chapter 2

Genesis strolled down the executive floor of Shinra's SOLDIER Elites, his auburn hair bouncing lightly as he went. The Crimson Commander was in an exceptionally better mood then earlier in the morning.

After a certain nameless excuse for a TURK had the _nerve_ to comment how _his_ fashion sense seemed to be replicated after a particular arrogant, overly-pampered Silver General, did Genesis pay the redhaired nuisance any mind. Genesis could feel the temptation to slice the obnioxus brat's head off growing inside of him. However, being the clever individual he was, the fiery Commander chose to cut with words instead.

"It is only fair I forgive you, considering your condition." Genesis waved his leather-gloved hand in the direction of the confused TURK before admiring the way the polished leather gleamed in the light.

The TURK (What was his name again? Reese? Rick? Rio?) had laughed as he pushed himself from his postion, leaning against a corner. "What condition would that be yo?" A spark of trouble danced through his aquamarine eyes as the annoying waste-of-oxygen taunted the Crimson Commander.

"Never being able to compare to myself of course. I am a SOLDIER Elite, have obvious better tastes in clothing appearl, and am beloved by the Goddess. Shinra could never replace me, unlike they could _you._" Genesis waved his arms around dramatically before placing both hands atop his chest, in the vicinty of his heart.

But instead of bursting into comical tears or simmering in anger, the TURK had the guts to smirk at the overly sensitive Commander. "You might want to cancel that next hair appointment, yo. I think the shit in that crappy hair dye might be doing something to that mushy fuck bucket you call a brain. Which would also explain why you feel the need to quote a dumb ass poem about an obvious dick-minded douche trying to get it in with a fake-ass 'Goddess' yo."

Genesis was not quite sure what happened after that, seeing as he blacked out from the fury that had overwhelmed his senses. But when his wits finally returned to him, he was sitting astride a very unconscious and very _different_ looking TURK.

The Crimson Commander couldn't hold in the pleasured laugh that rumbled through his chest as he examined the expensive material of the TURK uniform dyed a neon pink; add that with the temporary butterfly tattoo on the TURK's left cheek along with the microscopic specks of glitter sprinkled throughout the TURK's animated hair, the teenage boy could have easily been mistaken for a drag queen.

Only after taking several snapshots of his handy work, did Genesis retreat back to his apartment to freshen up and post his wonderous work on every social media site he could find. The Goddess would be so proud of him.

"What's this all about Reno?" Elena asked as she stood atentivly in one corner of the room. Though relatively new to being a full fledged TURK, Elena was showing great promise. Not to mention she was less accustomed to his flirting then Ciss was.

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm sick an' tired of those damn SOLDIERs thinking they're tough shit yo. I say it's time we give 'em a taste of their own medicine." Reno paced the front of the room, stopping in the center only to fist pump the air. The rookie TURKs' responses were almost immediate; various "Hell yeah!"s and "It's about time!" rose up simultanously only to be silenced a moment later by a Wutanian man stepping to the front of the room.

"Reno, you know as well as I that 'disposing' of any SOLDIER would lead to your termination." Tseng's features were stoic as a frozen stream. Reno threw his arm around the slightly older man's shoulders as he smirked,

"C'mon Tseng, do you really think I'm that stupid yo? Of course we ain't gonna kill any of Shinra's new golden chocobos! We're just gonna do to them, what they've been doing to us."

Reno gestured to TURKs gathered together before them. Tseng looked at his second in command with skepticism, dark brows knitted together."And what exactly have the SOLDIERs been doing to us, Reno?"

"Harassin' us, humiliatin' us, insultin' our strength as TURKs! Listen, we ain't killin' no one. We won't even be doing this to all of the SOLDIER dick bags. Just to the ones that'll get our message across." Reno draped his other arm around a rookie TURK.

"What exactly is the message my TURKs mean to send to the SOLDIERs?" A new voice rang through the cramped room. Every living and non-living thing in that heard this ceased all movement of any kind yo. Standing in the doorway was none other then Rufus Shinra. His crisp white suit setting off his sapphire eyes and golden hair perfectly, but he looked so uptight Reno was worried that a whole fucking tree might've been stuck up his ass.

Reno swallowed the lump and, with his job and life on the line, addressed the vice-president of Shinra, "Don't fuck with the TURKs, yo." Reno was sure his eyes were going to shit, because he thought he just saw Rufus Shinra, not his body double but the real deal, _smile._

"I believe that is a lesson my brother's SOLDIERs would do well to learn." With that, he exited the room almost as suddenly as he enetered. No one moved for the longest time as they overcame the shock of what had just happened.

"See! Even bossman agrees!" Reno crossed his arms with a twinkle in his eyes. Tseng, exasperated with having to deal with the ambitious TURK.

"Very well Reno, what is our objective."

Reno worked the keypad in the TURK's briefing room, now changed out of his ruined uniform with the butterfly tattoo successfully removed (though for the life of his new gaming system, he couldn't figure out how to get that _damned glitter_ out of his hair yo). With a few clicks on the keypad the room was cluttered with an asortment of items ranging from hairspray and shaving cream to cream-colored paint and actual doors with doorframes.

Displayed on the large briefing screen were blueprints of the Shinra building, with the TURK and SOLDIER floors highlighted. Along with activation and deactivation codes to the buildings lighting, security cameras, and the controls to the elevator systems.

They could say what they want yo, I'm second in command for a reason.

**Author's Note: In case anyone is confused, yes this is written in third person. However, I really want to put their personalities into each POV. Believe it or not, Reno's was the hardest to write. I really love Genesis's character, just who he is and his personality. I also love his rivalry with Sephiroth, even though Sephiroth and he are friends. Sooooo, have you figured out what SOLDIERs are under attack from the TURKs? One review needed for a new chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

Sephiroth walked down the hall with the grace of a panther, the looks of the lower level SOLDIERs ranged from pure admiration to terror reserved for only the worst nightmares. By now he was used to the variety of looks, so he paid them no attention. Not to mention Genesis's ranting made it difficult to focus on much else.

"Who does that blonde twerp think he is!? He may control the waste-of-space TURKs, but he has no right telling _me _what to do! I'm Genesis Rhapsodos by the Goddess!" With a haughty flip of his crimson locks, he continued to babble pompously.

Sephiroth couldn't fathom why he tolerated the Crimson Commander on some days. The auburn-haired Commander's battle skills were enough to keep him from finding himself impaled on Masamune; but while his boisterous prattle and envious arguments he started entertained Sephiroth on occasion, today it just served to ground away at his steel nerves.

"He is the vice-president, Genesis. He has the right to order anyone under Shinra employment to do whatever he wants." Angeal attempted to placate his childhood friend. But any who knew the fiery Commander knew every attempt was futile. And if you were careful with you word choices, an attempt to calm the fire burning in the man could only alight it further.

"I don't care who he is! I am not someone to be ordered around by a lackey behind a desk!" Genesis stomped his foot in anger, making him appear extremely immature in the Sephiroth's eyes.

As they rounded a corner, headed for the elevators at the far end of the hall, Genesis seemed to have inevitably come to the conclusion that this was somehow the Silver General's fault.

"The only reason I am not more respected here is because of _him_!" Genesis pointed at Sephiroth accusingly as they passed a plump secretary shuffling past them with an arm full of folders.

Sehpiroth chose to simply gaze at his companion before refocusing his attention to the chrome elevators. Genesis blaming his problems on Sephiroth was nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, it would have been strange if Genesis _didn't _blame this situation on Sephiroth.

"This is hardly Sephiroth's fault, Genesis. You know that." Angeal, ever the peace keeper of the group, was trying (rather unsuccessfully) to smooth over yet another unavoidable argument between the two.

"My friend the fates are cruel! How can you believe that!? Just look at him! You and I both know that I would've gotten so much further if he wouldn't make me look so bad in the eyes of the other executives!" Genesis wailed pathetically as Sephiroth pressed the elevator's up button.

"Perhaps if you didn't attempt to bore them into their graves with your ceaseless LOVELESS quotes, they would be more tolerate of you." Sephiroth could only smirk as the small jab he supplied to the redhead caused his face to darken almost to rival the color of his crimson trench coat.

Angeal could only sigh as Genesis unleashed his hell fury on Shinra's General. The doors to the elevator closing as the friends rode the elevator to their desired floor.

"Zack, I really don't think I'm allowed to be here." A small blonde cadet tugged gently on the older raven haired teen's sleeve as the elevator doors opened onto the TURKs' main floor.

"Don't worry Spikey! The email said this was completely casual, so as long as you're here with me it's all good!" Zack slung his arm over his little chocobo haired buddy's shoulders as he led them down one long corridor.

"But Zack, some of the Thirds said that the TURKs don't like SOLDIERs, that there was some kind of 'war' between them." Cloud said, glancing nervously around as Zack practically dragged him down the main hall.

"Oh geez, don't listen to them Spikey. They just want to scare you. And besides, you're here with me! They wouldn't think of messing with you with me around!" By now Zack actually was dragging the blonde down the hall, the kid's feet dragging along the gray colored carpet.

Just as they were passing the second set of elevators, the doors opened to reveal one such Genesis Rhapsodos barely restrained by an exasperated Angeal Hewley as an almost smug looking General Sephiroth simply watched the scene unfold.

"Hey Angeal! Did you guys get that email too?" Zack said as he separated the crimson actor from his mentor.

"Yes Puppy. Although it did not mention where we were supposed to meet. Did yours by any chance?" the honorable Commander asked as Zack bounced on the balls of his feet.

"Nope. Spikey and I were just gonna walk around until we found someone." Zack gestured to the small blonde looking as if he would rather be eaten by Scarlet then in this situation.

"So you are the Cloud Strife we've had the pleasure of hearing about so often," Genesis seemingly glided over to the spooked cadet, "I am Genesis Rhapsodos." The Casanova Commander offered his hand to the Cloud, only to hear Zack's outraged wail of protest.

"Stay away from him pedophile!" Zack shouted as he tucked the embarrassed cadet behind him. But just as the Crimson Commander opened his mouth to retort, there was a sudden buzzing noise before the lights shut off both on the floor and inside the still open elevator.

"What's going on?" Genesis demanded to no one in particular. Zack blinked several times, eyes straining to see anything that might help in this situation (a vending machine would be nice; he was craving a chocolate bar).

"Is this some kind of training exercise where a cadet is placed in an extremely stressful situation and timed to see how long it is before they have a heart attack?" Cloud whispered shifting beside him.

"I don't think so Spikey. At least, they never did this to me when I was a cadet." Zack reached out to pat his back comfortingly. Was this a training exercise? If it was, it sure was a weird one.

"The elevators have ceased working as well." Sephiroth hadn't spoken in so long Zack had forgotten he was even there. Cloud seemed to have forgotten too; at the sound of the Silver General's emotionless voice, the blonde youth practically climbed onto the Second Class's shoulders.

"Zack, which elevators did you arrive here by?" Angeal asked as Zack pried Cloud off and set him upright on the ground.

"The other ones. I think I remember the way to them." The raven haired teen scratched the back of his neck before starting off the way the duo had just come from.

"We are putting our hope in a boy who couldn't figure out how to work the microwave in the lounge." Genesis commented as he ran a hand absentmindedly through his hair.

"WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BUTTONS ON IT!? HALF OF THEM DON'T EVEN MAKE SENSE! WHO'S GOING IN THERE TRYING TO MICROWAVE POTTERY!?" Zack shouted, justifying his confusion with the device.

"The word is poultry, Puppy. Not pottery." Angeal corrected, wondering how his apprentice could be so intelligent yet so stupid.

"What the hell is poultry?" Just as the question came out of his mouth, he could feel the hallway split off into four separate corridors.

"Well, which way _Puppy_?" Genesis growled, agitated with this whole situation. He was missing his shows Gods damn it. And they were finally going to reveal the secret behind Trevor's poisoning. It was Tina, he just knew it. That hoe always had it out for him.

"That way!" Zack pointed to the left hall before bounding down the pitch black corridor, dragging the blonde cadet as he went; oblivious to the fact _no one_ could see where he was pointing.

As a result, the three commanding officers of the world's most feared army were left standing dumbfounded in the dark with no idea where they were.

"Well, that's your apprentice 'geal darling." Genesis said, his arms crossed over his chest.

In the next moment, three figures moved silently towards the non-expecting men. With the help of intense training (and night vision goggles) the figures snuck up to their intended targets before executing phase 1 of P.T.S. They spun their targets each in separate directions, facing separate halls.

The first figure, blonde hair hidden under the black stocking cap, deftly reached into the Crimson Commander's inner coat pocket retrieving his prized LOVELESS before dashing down the carpeted hall, tapping the wall in code as she went. It took the LOVELESS fanatic only a moment before realizing what was taken from him. With an earsplitting scream he gave chase to the figure, using the taps to guide him.

The second figure, having traded his shades for goggles, grabbed a hold of the Buster Sword. Using all of his considerable strength, he pulled the sword from its holder before sprinting down the hall the three had just come down; the Buster Sword tearing the carpet as he let it drag on the ground. If Genesis's scream had scared any within ear shot, the sound that escaped the almost always even-tempered Angeal Hewley would have made their heart stop from fright. An enraged roar emanated from deep within the honorable Commander's chest as he followed the sound of carpet being shredded by his most cherished possession.

The third figure, almost as stoic as the General he was ordered to ambush, moved tactfully near the Silver General. As he stood no more then a hair's length away, he pulled out the tool that was necessary to complete his mission. Acting swiftly, the TURK leader rushed past Sephiroth, putting the tool into use as he went.

_Snip._ The noise, in reality, was no louder then a pin dropping. But in the mind of Shinra's General, it rang louder then any gunshot he had heard in all his years of battle. They had cut his hair. _Cut. His. Hair._ The bloodcurdling, soul shattering, inhuman outcry that the man let out would haunt the Wutainian TURK's nightmares for years to come. As the General gave chase, going down yet another corridor separate from his companions, a flaming-haired TURK sat in a security room, smirking.

"Phase 1, separate the SOLDIER boys, complete yo. Phase 2, destroy them, is a go. Let the 'em all know yo."

**Author's Note: Word of the day, rhapsody. Which means written or musical creation. Fits Genesis well eh? *sigh* Sephiroth gave me trouble today. He's one of my favorite characters, but one of the most difficult to write dialogue for. And just so everyone knows, I don't think Zack is stupid. He's from a little country town, and any country town I've ever been to no one ever once called chicken poultry in front of me. So that's where that came from. Just wanted to also let my readers know that if you message me I would be happy to write a one-shot for you. Just tell me your favorite character and what you want the genre to be and I'd be happy to. Writing other stories helps me to get over writer's block, when it happens. These are the games/manga that I can write for: Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy 7 (obviously), Final Fantasy X and X-2, One Piece, and Kingdom Hearts. Ok? Thanks for reading! One review needed for a new chapter**.


	4. Chapter 4

Angeal's rage boiled as he ran blindly down the hall, not sure were he was going or if he was still chasing the figure anyhow (the tearing had stopped a little over 5 minutes ago). As the honorable Commander charged down the hall, his foot connected with something extremely large and extremely hard. Even to the grave, Angeal Hewley will deny that the high pitched squeal that had emanated through the air at the same time as he lost his footing had not come from him.

But as he landed on the carpeted floor with a mind numbing _thud_, he realized that the item he had tripped over had been his beloved Buster Sword. With nimble fingers, Angeal inspected his most prized possession. There seemed to be no significant damage, however until he was able to _visually_ inspect the sword he was not comforted in the slightest. As the even-tempered Commander contemplated his next move, a familiar voice shocked him into motion.

"Angeal! Help me! Where are you!?" It was Zack, he sounded distressed and terrified of something.

"Zack! I'm coming! Where are you?" Angeal called running blindly towards the sound of his apprentice's frantic voice. His mind raced with possibilities of the worst scenarios that his precious Puppy could've gotten himself into. What if he was hanging out of a window? Or accidentally summoned a monster he couldn't handle? None of this was helping the overwhelming worry consuming him.

"Angeal! Angeal help!" Zack called out to him again, his voice getting closer as Angeal raced down the seemingly endless corridor.

"I'm coming Zack! I'll be there soon!" Angeal's heart was beating unbearably quickly, thumping in his chest with worry for his hapless apprentice.

"Angeal!" After ages, Angeal reached the end of the hallway. Zack's voice seemed to be coming from behind the wall. With slightly trembling hands, Angeal began examining the wall; only to find it wasn't a wall, but a door. Just as a small voice in the back of the Commander's mind began to inquire why his apprentice would be stuck behind a _door_, said apprentice called out again; sounding much more urgent then before.

"By the Gods someone please help me!" That was all it took to make Angeal throw caution to the wind as he threw the door open and charged through the doorway.

But what happened next was not what the honorable Commander had imagined. As he blindly lunged into the room he tripped over a something placed strategically across the bottom of the doorway in order to trip any who entered. As Angeal tumbled into the room, rolling across the floor with the momentum from his attack. When he finally came to a stop by knocking into the opposite wall, he felt as though his brain had been rattled right out of his skull.

Groaning inwardly, the honorable (and now disorientated) Commander attempted to stand up only to find he couldn't. Squirming around, he found the only body part he was able to move was his head. The rest of his body seemed to be wrapped in some kind of….plastic?

After several (failed) attempts at standing and a string of curses none could imagine coming out of the kindest Commander out of Shinra's Elites, he finally managed to get himself in a sitting position.

Cue 20 more minutes of curses and wriggling against the wall to finally get himself into a standing position. From his toes all the way to the top of his neck, he was tangled in plastic wrap.

With a low growl, Angeal hopped towards the door. But once he reached it, he found it _closed._ _Closed_ and he had_ zero_ use of his hands. As the (normally) even-tempered Commander considered simply body slamming the damned thing, he lost his footing yet again. Spinning to the side, he expected to land on the carpeted floor once again. But to his dismay, the proud Commander landed face first in some strange, sickeningly sweet substance.

Running his tongue along his lower lip, he tasted the strange goo. Was that….honey? Yes, there was no mistake. That was indeed honey. And now his entire face was covered in it. This was becoming ludicrous! After rolling away from the sticky substance, Angeal repeated the (aggravating) process of standing upright again. But as the Commander finally returned to a (somewhat) dignified stance, he was certain there was a buzzing noise coming from somewhere in the room.

Despite every one of his senses telling him that it was a bad idea to investigate further, the SOLDIER inside demanded all possible threats be identified. So as he made his way closer to the strange sound, he felt the floor beneath his left foot drop slightly. Almost as if he had stepped on a….button of some sort.

Moments later, cursing every deity that might have ever existed, a one such Commander Hewley could be seen clearly hopping for his life through a darkened hall. One of the very reasons he had left his hometown of Banora were right behind him and closing in fast._ How did they know_!? He thought, beside himself in fright. _How in the hell did they know I'm afraid of bees!?_ A swarm of bees chased the distraught, wailing man straight into a wall. At the least he finally got the damn door open.

"Now that we've gotten Angeal, are we going to let him-" A blonde TURK spoke to a smirking redhead in a security room, watching the hot and bothered Commander hopping wildly away from his worst fear.

"Oh no 'laney. We ain't lettin' him off the hook that easy yo. We've still got plenty more planned for 'em. But for now we'll let the rookies mess with 'em for awhile. Because for now we've got a certain Silver General we gotta attend to." The fiery TURK's smirk turned into a Cheshire grin as he watched a particular General storm down a now empty corridor, a rather obvious lock of sliver hair missing from the ocean of silver adorning his head.

**Author's Note: This was probably the easiest chapter I've written. I also had a lot of fun messing with Angeal, him being the most even-tempered and patient of them all. But what does Reno have in store for Sephiroth hmm? And where has Zack and Cloud run off to? All will be answered in the next chapter. Also, I had an idea for a follow up story to this one. Because surely the SOLDIERs wouldn't take this lying down right? So what would they do for revenge? Just an idea. Message me and tell me if anyone would be interested in that. One review needed for a new chapter. Five messages for that follow up story to actually become a serious idea in my head.**


	5. Chapter 5

_'How could I end up in this situation?'_ Sephiroth thought, berating himself for his carelessness. Reaching upward, the Silver General touched the new bald spot on his temple. His hair, his poor hair; how _dare_ those insignificant _runts_ touch his silver perfection! When he got his hands on those pathetic, inconsequential, worthless, unimportant….

Sephiroth's mind was halted from going any further down the genocidal path it was traveling when a small breeze caused his hair to swirl. Instinctively, Shinra's most Elite warrior clutched protectively at his silver strands holding them possessively in a clenched fist.

This is insanity, Sephiroth growled inwardly. Clasping his hair in one hand and Masamune in the other, the silver Elite stalked down the carpeted hall. Just as Sephiroth began to seriously contemplate cutting through the walls of this dreaded floor until he reached a working elevator, the tip of his seven foot long sword connected with….something. Pulling his sword from where it was lodged into the object, Sephiroth moved cautiously forward.

Reaching out, the General tentatively ran his fingers along a fluid-like substance. Moving lower, the enigmatic Elite's fingers came into contact with something cool and metallic. A lock perhaps? What was it that the TURKs were attempting to hide? And even more, did they think that a simple lock would stop someone such as himself?

'_Ha!_ _Those foolish peons think they could antagonize me and still keep their precious secrets hidden?_ Sephiroth thought almost giddily as aimed Masamune at the metal lock. With one graceful move, the Silver General broke the flimsy contraption.

_'Too simple.'_ Sephiroth smirked triumphantly as he pushed at the jelly-like texture with forceful determination.

Grunting, Sephiroth stabbed his sword toward the vexatious blob. The legendary sword ran through the mush with ease. A proud smirk crossed his porcelain features….that is until he attempted to pull the sword from the blob.

Groaning, the legendary SOLDIER twisted and pulled at the sword. Using one of his hands, he dug at the gel substance; desperate to free his Masamune. However, as soon as the General's hand touched the jelly substance, it was sucked into it with as though being sucked into a vacuum.

'_I will kill them, I will kill them ALL!'_ Sephiroth roared in his own subconscious. He was completely and utterly stuck now. Just wait until he got his hands on those….

Wait, what was that? What was touching his _hair_? A sticky substance was drenching his entire scalp, saturating his hair and skin.

Suddenly, startling the Silver General, a bright light shined from behind him and onto a reflective surface; onto a mirror.

The great Silver General has faced countless armies, enemies so fierce that even some of his strongest men had trembled, has seen horrifying events that would have given even the most cold-hearted of men nightmares. But nothing could have prepared him for what looked back at him in the mirror.

His beloved strands of silver silk were….._blue._ Even after his very last breath the General would deny that the choking sobs that had emanated from his vicinity had not belonged to him.

"Was that not a tad bit too far?" A Wutainian TURK stood next his fiery second in command, who was howling in laughter at his feet.

"Hell no yo! This is priceless!" The redheaded TURK was now grinning at the glowing monitor, watching the proclaimed Demon of Wutai sobbing like a scolded child.

"Shall we let him go now?" Tseng knew it was wrong, but he couldn't stop the smallest chuckle that escaped his lips.

"Not a chance yo! I ain't done with him yet yo. But look at that screen yo!" Pointing to another monitor, a duo of SOLDIERs were scampering down a darkened corridor. A small blonde being drug behind a smiling raven-haired teen with a group of rookie TURKs panting after them.

"We got our next targets yo."

**Author's Note: *sigh* I had meant to write about Zack and Cloud in this chapter too, but I have a bad case of writer's block. So expect a new one-shot coming soon, I've said it before but I'll say it again writing one-shots helps me to get over writer's block. It will probably be another lemon, courtesy of lilith dracul giving me the idea. And *drum roll* there will be a sequel to this, where the SOLDIERs get their revenge. Also, not sure if any of you have heard of One Piece. But expect a one-shot about the LuNa pairing dedicated to my friend Skittles516. I've also been thinking about doing a choose your own adventure of the Kingdom Heart 2 game. Well anyway, thanks for all of your support! Especially to krikanalo, lilith dracul, zexydemyx66, Cosara Peregringale for reviewing this! Also thanks to krikanalo, lilith dracul, zexydemyx66, Cosara Peregringale, Rihannon98, Taura85, and Silver-x-Crimson for following this! Your support means more to me then you realize. Also, I am still accepting requests for one-shots. I can write for: One Piece, Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy 7, Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy X and X-2. Alright? Great! Thanks again! One review needed for a new chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6

A small blonde whimpered slightly as he was dragged behind his raven-haired best friend. He couldn't tell for sure, but he thought there had been people following them for the last twenty minutes. Of course, even if he checked behind them what good would it do? He couldn't see two inches in front of his face let alone any mysterious stalkers chasing them around the TURKs main floor

Just as Cloud was about to confide in Zack, he found himself slamming into said Second Class's back. And if anyone tried to harass him later for the sound of pain that escaped him at the impact, he would very calmly smash their face with a brick and ask if it hurt. Because the blonde cadet was now 100% sure that was what SOLDIERs' backs were made of, he may have even lost a tooth…

"Um, Zack? What's wrong?" Cloud poked Zack's arm, curious as to what had caused such a sudden change in his friend.

"Hey Spikey." Cloud thought he felt Zack turn to face him, but again he couldn't have seen a Poodler if it stood there right beside him in all of it's slimly grossness.

"Yeah?" Cloud was surprised at the seriousness in the usual playful tone of SOLDIER's Puppy.

"I just realized I have no idea where we're going." Cloud facepalmed at the confession he had already figured out due to the three walls they had already crashed into.

"That's okay Zack; let's just try to find an elevator or something." Cloud tugged gently at his friend's uniform, the feeling of being watched coming back with a vengeance.

"Sure thing Spikey! Hey we might even find a vending machine! I'm dying for a chocolate bar! What's your favorite? Mine are the ones with the little crunchy things inside! Oh and then there's the ones with peanut butter in them. And-"  
Cloud was certain there was someone following them now; he could feel their eyes on him, observing his every movement. And (not for the first time) Cloud wondered how Zack had made it as far as he had, for the _Second Class SOLDIER_ was completely oblivious to the prickling feeling of being watched.

Just as the blonde youth was about to attempt (again) to point out the strange feeling to his superior officer, a flash of blue light momentarily stunned him. It stunned _him_, not the older teen tugging the cadet through the halls.

"HEY! Did you see that Spikey? C'mon we have to go find out what it was!" Zack was now charging toward the direction the strange blue light had come from, pulling a terrified Cloud right behind him.

They seemed to be running, but not going anywhere as far as Cloud was concerned. They couldn't _see_ if they were making progress anyhow.

As Cloud opened his mouth to ask for a five minute break from the optimistic Second Class, the small blonde found himself tripping over said SOLDIER and tumbling across the carpet.

As he finally settled to a stop (with a serious case of rug burn) a noise that sound suspiciously like a door slamming hit the blonde's eardrums causing him to wince slightly.

"Spikey! You alright?" Cloud could hear Zack stomping around near where he still lay on the ground.

"Yeah Zack I'm- DON"T STEP ON ME!" Cloud shouted, just barely escaping having his fingers crushed beneath the standard SOLDIER steel-plated boots.

"AH! Sorry Spike!" Cue the raven-haired teen pulling the blonde youth from the ground and hugging him around the shoulders.

'_How did I end up in this situation?'_ Cloud wondered inwardly, scratching his head slightly.

"It's alright Zack. Can we just get out of here please?" the cadet was exhausted with this whole situation. And he couldn't be certain, but Cloud thought he felt an ulcer coming on.

"You got it Cloudy!"

"Um, Zack? That means you have to, you know, move."

"I, uh, I can't Cloud."

"What? What do you mean you can't? You were walking fine a minute ago."

"I know, but I can't now. I can't lift my legs. Like, at all." Cloud could feel Zack wiggling around beside him, attempting to move his legs. Cloud was dumbfounded. They didn't teach him how to handle a situation like this in cadet training.

"Uh, Cloud? Do you feel….kinda weird?" Cloud stopped mid-inner rant, and realized that he did feel, weird.

"Yeah, I do actually."

"Cloud have you tried to walk yet?"

"No…."

"Try." The blonde cadet did as Zack said, and found he couldn't move his legs either.

"Um Zack…"

"Yeah?"

"I can't move my legs either." Cloud indeed, could not move his legs. It was as if he was paralyzed from the waist down.

'_By the Gods, what the hell is going on?'_ Cloud was now completely stupefied. How were they going to get out of this? How did they get into this?

Just as Cloud was on the verge of frustrated tears, he felt the strange feeling let up, giving him free movement of his legs again.

"Hey Zack, do you feel any better now?"

"Yeah! I can move now!" The blonde youth could feel his best friend jumping up and down beside him. Breathing a sigh of relief, Cloud took one step forward.

_One._ There was a very sudden buzzing noise, and Cloud couldn't hold in the shriek as he found himself flying through the air and sticking to the opposite wall.

"Cloudy! Are you alright?" Cloud assumed that was what Zack had said, but do to the fact their faces were smashed against a wall it sounded a lot more like, "Cwoud! Awr ou awlit?"

"Ywah." Cloud responded, though he spoke to soon. For as soon as the word left his lips, he could feel hands on him. _Undressing him. _Cutting his cadet uniform off with nimble fingers.

From the sounds coming from Zack, the blonde cadet could only assume the same thing was being done to him.

'_Mother of Gaia why me?'_ Cloud knew he should've listened to those rumors about the TURKs. And now he was being punished for his stupidity.

By now he was completely naked, with nothing but his boots and socks. If the lights had been on, Cloud probably would have passed out from embarrassment. Just as Cloud considered pleading with whoever was preparing to rape him, he felt the force holding him to the wall disappear, releasing him. In the same moment, he felt a different fabric surround him. Covering his nakedness and successfully relieving the growing shame he felt.

That is, until the lights came on. He was standing face to face (well face to chest given the height difference) with a very different looking Zackary Fair.

His best friend and role model was not wearing his usual dark purple Second Class uniform. In its place was a sky blue dress with a long flowing skirt trimmed in white; complete with a very low neck line, a large white bow cinching the dress around the waist, and spaghetti straps holding it in place.

And before Zack stood his little chocobo buddy, however his cadet uniform had been (unwillingly) traded for a lavender ball gown. The puffy skirt covered in glitter, accessorized with a pair of elbow length plum-colored gloves and a bold neon purple bow styled into his disarray of yellow spikes.

"The poor blonde boy has no idea what's going on. We should just let him go."

An auburn haired TURK sat in the chair beside her superior.

"He joined SOLDIER yo, he made his choice. And you really shouldn't waste time worrying over him yo. We've got a certain Crimson jackass to attend to now yo."

**Author's Note: I loved writing this chapter so much. And remember Cloud's dress, because it's going to come into play later on. Now, I had a stroke of creativity and have come up with several different plots for fanfictions that I would like to work on along with this story, any one-shot requests I receive, and the sequel to this story (which I have decided shall be titled Soldiers Show No Mercy). But unfortunately I can only work on a few chapter stories at a time. So I have decided to let you, my readers, pick what you would rather read. I mentioned in my last author's note that I had the desire to write a choose your own adventure type thing for Kingdom Hearts (I might throw in some other Final Fantasy 7 characters, simply because I feel they didn't put enough of them in). So that is a choice. And another idea I had is taking the original characters from Kingdom Hearts and the Final Fantasy 7 characters (plus Squall Leonheart) and throwing them together in something that would resemble a reality show I guess. They all live in the same house….it would be similar to something like The Real World I guess. And lastly is having Kunsel run his own t.v. show that would be similar to Access Hollywood. Ok? Great! Let me know what you think. Thanks for your support! One review needed for a new chapter. And whichever plot idea gets the most requests is the one I will be going with. Thanks again!**


	7. Chapter 7

Genesis growled in frustration as he stumbled blindly down yet another hallway. These idiotic TURKs had no idea who they were messing with. He knew what had suddenly spurred them into this little….rebellion. It must have been that red-haired, blasphemous, punk he encountered earlier this morning.

The Crimson Commander prowled further down the hall, only to trip over well-placed luggage.

_GODS DAMN IT! This had to be the fifth time now!_ Genesis cursed subconsciously as he pulled himself up from the floor. Once the fiery Commander was upright once more, there was a loud crackling noise from overhead.

Making a very appropriate grunt (see squeal), Genesis dropped to the ground with his hands covering his hair….no his head. He was most definitely not more concerned for his hair then for his head.

However, instead of lightning striking down from the ceiling or TURKs throwing his LOVELESS collection to the ground before setting it on fire, the lights flickered on.

The words were leaving his mouth before he realized it, "THANK THE GODDESS!" Throwing his arms toward the ceiling he spun (twirled) in a very manly (see ballerina) manner.

Now he could get out of here! And most likely catch the re-airing of his show! Strutting down the now well-lit corridor, the Crimson Commander was so wrapped in his pleasant, Goddess thanking thoughts, that he was oblivious to the figures waiting for him around the next corner.

As soon as the LOVELESS fanatic turned the corner, a certain flaming-haired TURK blasted him with a materia. The force was enough to knock the Crimson Commander onto his backside, giving the TURK enough time to make his escape.

Other then being knocked to the (ugly) carpeted floor, Genesis came to the conclusion that he was relatively unharmed.

Standing once more, he rotated his shoulders. Raising his arms out in front of him, he examined the leather for any significant damage; but found none.

"Is that the best you peons have planned for me? Ha! Who do you think you're messing with? I'm Genesis Rhapsodos!" With that, Genesis turned on his heel; prepared to finally be free of these infernal idiots once and for all. However, upon facing his former direction, he found nothing but a wall.

Now how in the hell had he walked through a _wall_ and not even felt it? That's right, he hadn't. So where the hell did the hallway go? Flailing his arms in an exasperated manner, the Crimson Commander turned to find the only available way left to go was straight.

'_By the Gods, I will kill them. I will fry them and then serve them to each other._' Genesis's thoughts had taken a rather…genocidal turn; he was well aware of this. However, he was finding some small comfort in these cynical thoughts as he stormed down the hall.

But upon reaching the end of the hall, he found the only action he could take now was opening the only door in the treacherously long hallway.

_'Who is that?'_ Genesis thought as he seemingly floated towards the lone figure standing in the center of another long corridor.

_'Who is that beautiful blonde in the lavender dress?'_

Cloud had never been more terrified in his entire life. First, he has his clothes torn from his body leaving them nothing but rags; then the only option given to him to cover his nakedness and shame is a _dress_; once the lights came on he was somehow separated from Zack by a magical moving wall (just how the hell could walls move?); and now one of his superior officers was coming towards him with a completely love struck look.

"Um, sir? Are you alri-AHHHHH!" The blonde youth wailed as he was scooped up by the Crimson Commander.

"Oh my sweet, where have you been all my life? Never mind that, the Goddess has blessed our meeting today! Tell me, what name did your parents grace an angel such as yourself with?" Genesis cooed into Cloud's hair, nuzzling his neck and cheek as well.

What. The. Hell. Cloud summarized, during the cuddling being forced upon him by the quick-tempered Commander, that he must've been a horrible person in another life. Why else would the planet feel the need to torture him like this?

"Sir, please put me down." Cloud cursed himself for the squeakiness of his voice. Now not only was he dressed like a girl, he sounded like one too. The effect of Cloud's inability to sound like the boy he was being Genesis holding the cadet much closer, forcing the young blonde's head to lie in the crook of his neck.

"Your desire is the bringer of life, the gift of the Goddess. You have yet to tell me your name, fair maiden."

"It's Cloud sir, Cloud Strife. Zack's friend. Please put me down. Please." Cloud was becoming desperate and the Commander's advances were becoming more…intimate; if the hand sliding down his back was anything to go by, Cloud had a feeling that things were going to become very uncomfortable if he didn't get away from his superior officer.

"You know Zackary Fair? I can't imagine a beauty such as you being acquainted with such an uncultured boy. On no," Was it just Cloud's imagination, or did Genesis's mouth suddenly get _far_ too close to the blonde youth's ear, "What you need, my sweet, is a civilized_ man_."

Perhaps it was the hand that squeezed his ass, or the harsh nip the Commander gave his ear. Whatever had caused Cloud to instinctively knee his commanding officer in the groin had given the cadet enough time to wiggle out of the lunatic's grip and race down the hall.

"My friend do you fly away now? Please come back to me! We belong together!" Genesis's voice sounded pained; and as Cloud glanced back over his shoulder he could see the Commander struggling to his feet, preparing to chase the blonde all the way to Wutai if necessary.

**Author's Note: Ok, this is my new favorite chapter. I know Genesis didn't get pranked as badly as the others, but this is just the beginning. I realize I am unbelievably cruel to Cloud, but cadet Cloud is just too easy to mess with. Also, I apologize for not updating the last two days. My computer decided to essentially just stop working and I had no other way of accessing the internet. *sigh* I need a laptop. Oh, I have decided which new chapter story I will working on. My free time is going to hate me for this, I just know it. Since I like all three plot ideas so much, I have decided to attempt all three. And also, the oneshots I had been writing we're mysteriously deleted from my computer. So I am in the process of rewriting those as well. And with school right around the corner, updating is going to be a little more difficult. But don't worry; I am not one to give up on a story once I start it. Anyway, one review needed for a new chapter. Thanks for reading! Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, that materia Genesis was hit with, it was the equivalent to a love potion.**


	8. Chapter 8

Angeal, finally free of that damn plastic wrap, tore through the halls; desperate to find an exit or an ally. Spinning around a corner, Angeal collided with a strange man with blue….wait. Was that? No. That couldn't be….but, it was the same build, the same uniform, the same piercing emerald eyes, feline pupils no more then a narrow strip of black in the sea of green.

"Sephiroth? What did those TURKs do to you?!" Angeal couldn't hide the shock in his voice as he surveyed his friend. If the TURKs had managed to do something like this to the Silver General then what had those TURKs done to Zack? Dear Gaia, what did they do to that poor little blonde cadet Zack spoke so fondly of?

The only response Angeal received was a low, predatory growl that emanated from deep within the General's chest. Taking comfort from the fact that the fury was not directed at him, Angeal cleared his throat before glancing around.

"Have you seen Genesis or Zackary? Or a TURK?"

"No, you are the only person I have come across since being separated." Sighing, Angeal contemplated how to handle this situation. Just as he opened his mouth to consult Sephiroth, a flash of green resonated from just beyond the corner they were stopped at.

Angeal tensed instantly, reaching for his standard issued SOLDIER sword as Sephiroth drew Masamune.

Straining his already highly sensitive hearing, Angeal thought he heard…a small meow? But…that couldn't be right. Meows meant animals and the TURKs weren't exactly known to be something similar to PETA. Glancing at his now blue-haired friend, the small twitch of his lips indicated Sephiroth felt the same way he did.

Sephiroth began to inch forward, Masamune drawn and readied. Angeal followed suit, constantly glancing behind them to make sure there were no threats coming from behind.

Suddenly, he found himself being knocked to the ground by a wailing General. Coming from around the corner was a rather _large_ house cat. Large as in, big enough to eat them and still not be satisfied. However, the cat did nothing but purr and rub its head against Angeal's hand. Why had this, a large affectionate feline, terrified the stoic General into fleeing and crying like a child?

Sephiroth felt a twinge of guilt for leaving Angeal to face that monster on his own, but a short reminder of what that horrible creature had been was enough to make the Silver General drop all morals and continue his dash down yet another corridor. There was a reason Sephiroth didn't like people to mention the similarity between his eyes and those of a feline. His one and only fear was none other then…..cats.

Reno grinned as he watched for the second time that day the untouchable Shinra General bawl like a baby and scream like a teenage girl as he retreated from none other then a stupid_ cat._ Seriously, who woulda thought the General's only weakness was a mangy ball of fluff?

Sighing, the red-haired Turk glanced at his companion.

"I say we need some refreshments yo. Whatdya say? You thirsty Rude?" A solemn nod was the bald TURK's only reply.

"Great! Tell ya what, since you did such a perfect job on Sephy's new hairdo, I'll go get the beers myself. Sound good yo?" Another nod and the redhead was off, grinning like an oblivious idiot as he strolled down the hall. He stopped for a moment to watch a group of rookie TURKs snicker and move another wall to trap the little blonde as an extremely horny Crimson Commander shouted poetic crap from farther down the hall.

After hearing the blonde's terrified howl, the flame-haired TURK was off again, oblivious to the fast approaching, dress-clad, furious Second Class SOLDIER who was also unknowingly headed for a collision with the TURK responsible for the embarrassment that has befallen him that day.

**Author's Note: Tsk Tsk Reno, you shouldn't be so cocky. And again, I want to thank all of you who are being extremely patient with me. I have a lot going on right now and do not have as much free time as I would like to continuously update. Seriously, if I could just sit and write all day that would be a dream come true. But with school coming up fast (it literally just snuck up on me) and some family problems writing is becoming very difficult. BUT DON'T WORRY! I will not give up on any story that I start. I have, however, hit serious writer's block on a one-shot I was working on. It was a lemon, with Zack and Reno as the main pairing. Not my otp, but I certainly think it's interesting. Anyway, thanks for all of your support!**


	9. Chapter 9

Zack was so furious all he could see was red. What the hell was wrong with the TURKs?! What had he ever done to them to deserve this!? What had poor Cloud done to deserve this!? That was his number one objective. Find Cloud and then find a way out of here. However, every time he went to walk down another hall he would run into a fucking wall! He now officially hated walls, along with dresses, and darkness…and spiders. Fuck spiders.

When he turned the next corner the thing he saw stopped him in his tracks quicker then any wall had. It was _Reno. _The smug bastard was whistling a pleasant tune as he strolled towards Zack, oblivious to the fact the Second Class SOLDIER was now no more then 5 ft from him.

Grinning the grin of a lion before it has pounced on its prey, Zack stood; watching as Reno walked closer and closer to his own demise.

Once Reno was in arm's reach, Zack shot forward and pinned Reno to the nearest (non-moving) wall.

To the say the look on Reno's face was that of surprise was a very large understatement. The aqua colored eyes bugged out as the arrogant TURK gazed into the burning sapphire irises of a furious Zackary Fair.

Zackary Fair, known to light up even the dreariest of missions with his almost constant upbeat attitude and shinning smile, now resembled Genesis Rhapsodos right before he had dyed the redheaded TURK's suit pink.

"What the **FUCK** is your problem Reno!?" Zack raised the TURK off the wall slightly before slamming him back against it, the loud _thump_ echoing through the hall.

"Why are you doing this to me!? And to poor Cloud! I know of the damn war between our two factions but Cloud is just a cadet! AND WHY THE HELL AM I IN A DRESS!" Zack shook the shell-shocked TURK as he interrogated him. The TURK just sat there, dangling in the Second Class's grip.

"Answer me damn it! Where is Cloud!? And Angeal and Genesis and Sephiroth!? And how the hell do I get outta here!? And HOW ARE YOU MAKING WALLS MOVE!?"

By now Reno had recovered from his initial shock and began struggling to escape the wrathful SOLDIER. When Zack realized that he wasn't getting anywhere like this and he was in serious risk of getting kicked in the groin if Reno aimed correctly, the Puppy of Angeal Hewley moved the thrashing TURK to the floor; where he proceeded to sit on said TURK's back until he wore himself out from all the flailing around (in Zack's mind he resembled a spider when you put a rock on its body but the legs keep moving)

"Let me up yo! You SOLDIERs deserve this!"

"ANGEAL AND SEPHIROTH AND GENESIS AND CLOUD DON'T PARTICIPATE IN THE DAMN WAR WHY DO THEY DESERVE THIS!?"

"THAT CRIMSON ASSHOLE DYED MY SUIT PINK!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, all because I insulted LOVELESS, yo."

"Well you're stupid for insulting that, everyone knows he's obsessed with that book."

"Whatever, yo. Just let me up."

"No. You're take me to find the others and then let us the hell out of here. You guys have had you're fun. It's time to-" At that moment another of Cloud's terrified screams filled the air, causing Zack to leap off of Reno's back and turn in the direction the scream came from.

"SPIKEY!?" Reno wasn't waiting around to see if the blonde responded, he jumped up from the floor and practically flew down the hall. When Zack noticed this, he found himself torn between finding Cloud and chasing Reno down.

In a split-second decision, Zack went bounding down the hall after Reno. As worried as he was for Cloud, he knew he would never find him if Reno got away.

Meanwhile, a certain blonde cadet had been cornered by an extremely frisky Commander. The scene resembled that of a mouse cowering in a corner while the cat stalked forward…of course the cat probably wasn't quoting the entire time in most scenes. But this was Shinra, the epitome of weird shit.

"There is no hate, only joy. For you are beloved by the Goddess." Genesis said melancholy, seeming to glide toward the trembling cadet.

_'Oh please no. Please let this all be a nightmare. Please! I don't want to be molested by the Crimson Commander!'_

** Author's Note: Attention my faithful readers, I have just tried my hand at a cliff hanger. If I sucked feel free to spam me with hateful messages. I have come up with the estimate of how many chapters this will have. *clears throat* No less then 15 and no more 20. Because I still have the sequel that I would work on, plus my new chapter fic (which I have no idea how long it's going to be, because honestly T.V. shows can be on for 50 years and not end), this very lemony idea I came up with today (also a chapter story), and any one-shots I am working on. And school is going to eat away at what little free time I do have. BUT I WILL NOT GIVE UP! I apologize for my always long author notes. But I feel you deserve to know what is keeping me from updating. This chapter was not very funny in my eyes, but I needed a chapter that was going to lead up to the beginning of the end. *sigh* It's kind of sad, because this was like my birth fic. If anyone is interested in the new chapter fic I've been working on its called Cirque De Shinra. And thanks so much for all of your patience and support! You have no idea what it means to me.**


	10. Chapter 10

Cloud flailed wildly as he was finally captured by the Crimson Commander.

_"DAMN THOSE TURKS! DAMN THEM ALL TO THE DEEPEST PITS OF HELL! THANKS TO THEM I'M ABOUT TO BE RAPED BY MY SUPERIOR OFFICER!" _Cloud's brain was going into a frenzy as he attempted to dislodge a cooing Genesis Rhapsodos off of his backside.

"Why won't you love me my sweet!? Is there someone else?! I will throw them into the deepest part of Ifrit's nine hells!" Genesis growled into the nape of Cloud's neck.

"I'M A BOY! A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD BOY SIR! PLEASE LET ME GO!" Genesis chuckled as he cuddled the boy closer.

"Some things can transcend gender, my love. Just as some things can transcend age." Genesis purred into Cloud's ear.

"You mean like sanity?!" Cloud wailed before jabbing Genesis in the eye and fleeing down another hall.

"Oh my dove do you fly away now? Come back to me my dearest blonde!" Genesis was bent on molesting Cloud it seemed as he chased the blonde cadet down the hall and around the corner.

Cloud almost sobbed as he heard his superior's footsteps gaining on him. It seemed to Cloud that it was unavoidable that Genesis would catch him.

_"So this is how it's gonna happen huh…"_ Cloud's self-pitying thoughts were interrupted as a small, round sphere was thrown right into his face. It was a…materia? And not just any materia…an Ice materia!

Quickly equipping it (or at least he assumed that was how you equipped it, he was still a cadet after all) he rounded another corner and waited.

Once he was able to hear the Commander's hastened breaths he leveled his arm to the area where the Casanova Commander's groin would be….and blasted.

Genesis had never felt such an excruciating pain in his entire military career. He could feel his most prized "jewels" and "sword" literally freezing into a penis popsicle. Howling in agony, the Crimson Commander fell to the ground; clutching his privates and begging the Goddess to "still allow him to bear children in her name." Though he seemed to forget that just a few minutes ago he had been chasing a fifteen year old _boy_ around trying to "mate" with him.

In another part of the TURK's main floor a certain General was still fleeing from the giant feline he had left one of his second in commands to deal with. As he turned another corner (where was the damned exit!?) he ran into a very determined and very _different_ looking Zackary Fair.

Momentarily forgetting his kitten fear, he took in the Second Class's wardrobe choice,

"Interesting Lieutenant Fair, I didn't know the Second Class uniform had been changed so…drastically."

" I'M CHASING RENO SEPHIROTH IF WE DON'T HURRY HE'S GONNA GET AWAY AND THEN WE'LL BE STUCK HERE FOREVER COME ON LET'S GO!" Zack said this in one breath as he charged faster down the hall, hot on Reno's heels. Sephiroth didn't need to hear anymore, following Zack's lead he joined the chase for the red-haired TURK.

Elena couldn't hold her laughter in any longer. Watching Reno run for his very life with not only a furious Zack Fair on his tail, but now the Silver General was in hot pursuit had her falling out of her chair in the security room and clutching her stomach in laughter.

At the look on one of the rookie TURK's face Elena just smiled,

"He should have listened to us and let them go when we had the chance. Now he's getting what he deserves."

**Author's Note: Reno is in deep trouble now eh? And I don't know about any of you but I cheered a little when Cloud froze Genesis's "little friend" NO MEANS NO SILLY CRIMSON COMMANDER! Especially when an Ice materia is involved. Well I hope you all enjoyed and I would like to thank you all for being so patient with me. Now in regards to when I start school, you can expect an update for each of my stories no later then two days then when I last updated. Alright? Great! Thanks so much for all of your support!**


	11. Chapter 11

Gasping for breath, Genesis heaved himself off of carpeted floor. Oh Goddess, he couldn't even think straight. His poor manhood was dishonored in such a horrific way it left his brain in a haze. And worst of all, his beautiful blonde had escaped.

"Oh Goddess, why do you scorn me so?" He whispered, clutching his groin. Hobbling along the corridor his little angel had disappeared down, Genesis's mind began to wander.

Did his blonde want him to somehow prove his love was true? How would he go about doing that? Gaia's Champion had gone to battle on her behalf and ended up in her good graces, so perhaps the same tactic would work on his own new reason for living. Now if he only knew how…

The idea struck him like a slap to the face. What better way could he prove his love to the blonde angel then to defeat the Silver Demon of Wutai!? That was it! That was his new mission! To hell with finding a way out of here! He was on a mission to obtain the most awe inspiring and majestic thing in the universe, love.

His new goal in mind, the Crimson Commander set off to find a certain Silver General in order to prove his love to a blonde cadet who wanted nothing more then to go back to his barracks and cry from the terror of this whole event.

Meanwhile, Angeal Hewley had disengaged himself from the affectionate feline before proceeding in the direction his own commanding officer had gone screaming off down.

The honorable Commander was bewildered by the fact that the TURKs had gone through so much trouble simply because of a prank war. Angeal looked done the narrow hall, and was surprised that there only seemed to be a single door. That was nothing like the SOLDIER floor…

Curiosity teaming through his every fiber, the Commander made his way towards the door. Hesitantly putting his hand on the knob, Angeal pushed the door open. Shrill screams filled the halls as the Commander dashed down one corridor after another.

Zack, Reno, and Sephiroth were halted in their game of chase as the earsplitting screams reached their ears. Zack could swear, in all of those screams, he heard Angeal's voice in there somewhere.

Both SOLDIERs turned to face the red-haired TURK, who looked just as confused as they did. Sephiroth, being the leader he was, started off towards the screams. Not wanting to lose Reno, Zack shoved the TURK in between himself and the General. The screams seemed to multiply the closer they got.

"What is that Sephiroth?" The horrible sounds seemed to be just around the corner now.

Whatever his commanding officer was attempting to say was cut short as a distraught Angeal Hewley charged past the hall they were occupying, shouting one word to them as he went,

"FANGIRLS!"

At that precise moment, the leader of the pack seemed to be passing the hall. Turning her head, she instantly recognized the esteemed General of SOLDIER.

"OH MY GODS IT'S SEPHIROTH!" Zack stormed the way three of Shinra's best operatives ran from their only true fear they could never kill…their fans.

** Author's Note: How did the fangirls get in there if Reno had nothing to do with it? What is going to happen to poor Cloud now that Genesis has this…delusion? Keep reading to find out! I'll see you in my next update! Sincerely, Kay.**


	12. Chapter 12

Zack was almost sobbing as he attempted to escape the rapid creatures chasing his superior, the redheaded TURK, and himself through the never ending twists and turns of the TURKs floor.

"How do we get outta here Reno!" Zack shouted over the screams.

"I….don't know yo! I don't know where we're at!" Was his reply. A very animalistic growl rumbled from deep within Sephiroth's chest, causing the fangirls to squeal happily. As the trio passed another hall, they saw Tseng being glomped by a group of fifty or so fans.

"Boss!" Reno wailed, looking as though he were about to break out in tears at any moment. Zack looked at Sephiroth, who grabbed the TURK and hoisted him over one metal protected shoulder before continuing down the hall; the fangirls now right on their heels. Zack ran behind Sephiroth as they opened this door and that, turned down here and there, but still could not escape.

"How did they get in here Reno!?" Zack asked, watching as Reno flailed on Sephiroth's shoulder.

"I don't know yo! This wasn't part of the plan at all!"

Zack screamed as he heard a snipping noise and then, "I GOT A PIECE OF HIS HAIR!" Dear Gaia, these girls were insane. The Second Class wasn't sure, but he thought Sephiroth had flinched at the comment.

Finally, the group reached a door that led into an enclosed room. They had just barely made it in and locked the door before the fangirls were beating rapidly on said door.

Breathing heavily, Zack flopped down onto the carpet. Never was he more thankful for Shinra's metal doors then this moment.

"To become the dew that quenches the land, to spare the sands, the seas, the skies, I offer thee, this silent sacrifice."

Zack wailed as the Crimson Commander's voice seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"Geez Genesis! You scared me half to death!" Though Genesis brushed past the Second Class without as much as a glance.

"Uh oh…." Reno said, staring warily at the Crimson Commander while backing into a wall.

"Why 'uh oh'? What's wrong? Why is this bad?" Zack asked, following the TURK's lead and moving away from the Commander.

"We hit Gen Gen over there with a love materia. He fell in love with the little blondie. So if he's here instead of tryin' to hunt down his little cadet we got a problem yo."

"YOU DID WHAT!?" Zack began shaking Reno so quickly that the red-haired TURK was sure his eyes were rolling around in his head.

"Genesis." Sephiroth said coolly, his feline pupils watching the Loveless fanatic with unnerving intensity.

"I must prove my love is true to the person of my affection. And what better then to go to battle for my little dove's heart?"

Sephiroth made a sound that sounded like a grunt and a snort, earning a glare from the poetic Commander.

"I must defeat you my friend, if I wish to obtain the love of my sweet little blonde." Genesis drew his sword, waiting as Sephiroth did the same.

"CLOUD IS NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU GENESIS! STOP BEING SO DAMN RAPEY!" Zack shouted, angry that he had put Cloud in this position.

"Hush you ignorant fool!" Genesis snapped, "My little dove is simply playing hard to get. But after I defeat the Silver General my little dove will fly into my arms and we will forever-"

"Sleep." Sephiroth said, activating his Sleep materia and causing the Commander to pass out mid-speech.

"Ok, so that takes care of the psycho, lovesick Commander. But what about the rabid fangirls attempting to bust our door down?" Zack asked, glancing at his companions.

"I still want to know where they came from yo…" Reno grumbled, sliding down the wall and into a sitting position; pulling his knees to his chest and sitting his head on them the redhead sighed, exhausted.

Meanwhile…

Deep inside of Shinra, hidden in an office, a women in a _scarlet_ dress laughed hysterically at the SOLDIERs' and TURKs' predicaments.

**Author's Note: This fic is almost at its end, yes it is sad. I agree. However there will be a follow up. So don't fear. But please, tell me what you think! Because I love hearing that I am making people happy! Sincerely, Kay.**


	13. Chapter 13

Reno groaned, the throbbing pain in his head intensifying as the fangirls continued their assault on the steel door. Where had they come from? Peeking up from behind the hands he had over his eyes, Reno saw his companions felt more or less as confused and stranded as he did.

Zack had given up on sitting still and resorted to doing squats, which eventually turned into laps around the small office while chanting the SOLDIER code.

Sephiroth sat in the office chair situated behind the metal desk, going through files and occasionally staring dazedly out the window beside him

Genesis lay passed out on the carpet, incoherently mumbling something about "LOVELESS and his little blonde."

Reno had come to the conclusion that his cell phone had sometime lost service, as had the SOLDIERs'.

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS!" Zack cried out, throwing himself face first against the floor.

"CLOUD AND ANGEAL ARE STILL OUT THERE!" The Second Class's voice was muffled by the carpet his face was pressed into. Sephiroth glanced up from the file he was looking through, but that was his only response.

"AND RENO IS BEING USELESS!"

"Shuddap yo, it's not my fault that-" The glare he received from both the General and Second Class shut him up rather quickly.

"We didn't plan this yo."

"You didn't plan for a way out of it either." Sephiroth's voice was void of emotion, as always.

"Neither did you." Reno shot back. How in Ifrit's nine hells was he supposed to plan for this? It's not like this scenario ever even entered his brain.

"We need a way out of here." If Reno was being honest, this was the most he had ever heard the General say outside of a meeting.

"Ya got any suggestions yo?" Reno stood, stretching his arms while stepping over the unconscious Crimson Commander.

"Actually, I do." The look in the feline eyes had Reno trembling through and through.

Cloud's leg was beginning to cramp, but he was too afraid to move it. A while ago the cadet had heard these horrible screams coming from all different directions and had hidden himself away in a utility closet. He was scrunched up on top of one of the many metal shelves in the small cubby of a room.

What was more terrifying then just the screams, was the loud trampling of feet that constantly flowed back and forth in front of the closet. Not to mention the small tidbits of conversation he seemed to catch.

"Sephiroth….pants…hot"

"Angeal….cook…..my sword" Cloud was almost positive that last voice had belonged to a male.

Cloud sighed as he lay on his side in the small cubby. He was never going to get out of here. He just knew it.

The incisive pounding on the door next to the closet made Cloud extremely uncomfortable as well. There was something behind that door that those fans desperately wanted.

Suddenly, a roaring explosion had the small blonde crying out in surprise. The boy was knocked from the shelf and sprawled across the tile floor. The sound of boots smacking against the ground had Cloud looking up, wide-eyed, partially from surprise, partially from relief, and partially from fear.

"SPIKEY!" Zack's happy face was covered in smoke, soot, and rubble from the wall he had just barreled through.

"Zack?" The word had barely left Cloud's lips before the Second Class had scooped him up in his arms and hugged the little blonde to his chest.

"Thank the Gods you're alright!"

"Nice to see you in one piece cadet." Sephiroth's voice caused Cloud to startle and stumble backward into one of the disarrayed shelves.

"Yo blondie, good to see ya again. Ya want to help me with your future husband?" Reno popped out from behind Sephiroth, dragging the snoring Genesis Rhapsodos with him.

Zack snarled and threw the closest thing he had at the fiery redhead, which happened to be a wrench.

"OW! What was that for yo!?"

"QUIT MAKING UP STUPID SHIT!" Zack wailed.

"How are we gonna get out of here?" Cloud's voice rose meekly, as he shuffled his boots from side to side.

"Why that is quite simple cadet," Sephiroth's eyes fell on the small blonde, making him whimper inwardly, "We are going to blast our way through."

Scarlet huffed as she watched the small group blast through this wall and that, the fangirls always just a tad bit too late to catch them.

"Well girls, I'm stumped. What do you think we should do?" Scarlet addressed the group gathered before her.

A girl with emerald eyes and flowing brown locks spoke from where she sat, watching one of the monitors.

"We could always wake Genesis up."

**Author's Note: So, things might seem a little messed up and some characters might seem a little OOC, but it's necessary for this fic to progress properly. So, tell me what you think! And thanks for reading! Sincerely, Kay.**


	14. Chapter 14

Angeal wasn't sure where he was. He wasn't sure how he got there. He wasn't sure where to go from there. All thanks to the fact that the lights had, yet again, gone out. Now the screams from the fangirls were disorganized, but crazy none the less.

Clinging to the wall, Angeal felt around for a door knob or anything useful. Suddenly the wall gave way to something….fuzzy.

_'Strange.'_ Angeal thought, pressing his hand further into the soft substance.

A soft purring caught the SOLDIER's attention. It was the mutant cat from before, lying curled up inside one of the halls.

"Hello there. It's good to see you are not affected by all of this….insanity." Angeal spent a few moments scratching the feline behind the ears. The purring intensified to the point that Angeal could feel the rumbling sending vibrations throughout his entire body.

Without warning, the cat grabbed the Commander by the scruff of his shirt and proceeded to carry him down the darkened corridor. Angeal squirmed and silently cursed when the cat's grip remained.

After several minutes and being bumped into several walls, the feline gently placed Angeal back onto his feet. Turning, the even-tempered Commander attempted to glare at the cat.

Said glare was effectively silenced with a gentle nudge from the large animal. Curiosity seemed to enjoy the Commander's company today, for he couldn't help the growing urge to reach forward.

His hands landed on a door, the cold steel chilling the Commander's finger tips. Trailing his hands further down the door, Angeal finally found the metal knob. Mildly twisting it, the man was surprised when the door gave way easily and he found himself in a room alight with many different monitors.

_'It must be the second security room.'_ Angeal summarized as he observed the many screens, though one stuck out more then the rest. It was of the main security room, the one the TURKs had no doubt been using. Though now, it didn't appear to be inhabited by any TURKs, save the two tied up in the corner of the room.

No, what he saw raised more questions then it answered. As the Commander sunk into the desk chair, one thought ran through his mind.

_'What on Gaia is my mother doing here?'_

Genesis was still blissfully unconscious. And still being carried by a complaining Reno.

"Shouldn't it be someone else's turn to carry the dead weight yo?" No one bothered to respond.

"You doing okay Cloud?" Zack asked, keeping the cadet within half a foot of him at all times.

"Yeah…" Cloud's voice trailed off and Zack thought he felt the blonde tugging at the lavender dress he still wore.

Zack slung his arm around the smaller shoulders and followed Sephiroth as he blasted his way through this wall and that.

"Do any of ya have any idea where we're goin' yo?" Reno groaned, dragging out each of the syllables.

"Away from the fangirls." Zack quipped. The light they were guided by now was the flashes from Sephiroth's (or rather Genesis's) Fira materia.

However, just as they blasted through another wall, there the sound of wild flailing and Reno's startled shouts. It seemed Genesis had woken up and now he was…

"MY BEAUTIFUL BLONDE ANGEL!"

Cloud's terrified screams were now accompanied by Zack's outraged wails; Reno's wheezing laughs, and Sephiroth's inhuman growls.

** Author's Note: I deserve to be hit with multiple different cans of paint. I apologize for not updating! I lost sight of the underlying plot so I couldn't come up with anything to write. But please, review the content, not my suckeness. Sincerely, Kay.**


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